It’s going to be hard to write something for Steven that people won’t find offensive. Most of the time I was with him was spent mocking the (slightly) less fortunate. It was a lot of fun…

This was edited slightly so it doesn't really make much sense so thought i should add that Steven asked me to make a top for him with something very offensive written on it. He wore it under his work clothes so if anything happened to him and he went to hospital the nurses would see it when they took his shirt off. He bought a t-shirt from H&M that looked like “a mental hospital top” which went well with what was written.

He taught me to dance. Properly.

We got drunk on the beach and I drank so much I couldn’t focus so he told me he would help me home led me into town and left me by the clock tower.

The horribly brilliant laugh that he did every time something unfortunate happened to anybody.

He was always trying to get me to start smoking and anyone that gave up was a quitter. It seems the smoking ban was too much for him.

Goodbye Steven, you quitter, and if there is some sort of retribution for all the cancer, aids, child murder victim jokes we have made and you come back with spasmosis try and let me know so that I can start making amends.

ed